All I want for Christmas

We have never been a BIG all out Christmas kind of people in the traditional presents and turkey dinner sense. When I was a kid we didn't have any family around, so normally it was just mom, dad and the 5 of us kids. I remember years when we didn't have a tree, or when we elected to give up Christmas gifts all together to do something special for someone else. When we did do gifts under the tree, usually we got pajamas, maybe a Christmas outfit and some books, maybe a Lego set. We never woke up early and opened gifts at the crack of dawn in our pajamas - the rule was reading the Christmas story, a big family breakfast, clean up, everyone combed & dressed, THEN present opening - usually late morning or early afternoon. The rest of the day would be spent doing giant puzzles, eating chili & sweets and playing games. Not so traditional, but great memories of family time together.

My husband and I have been together for over 10 years and married for almost 6 of those. A few years ago we officially stopped buying each other Christmas & birthday gifts, opting instead to spend as much money as we could possibly afford (ok maybe more than we could afford...possibly delaying retirement by a few years) to travel. In between we have snuck a few special gifts under the tree - like the DSLR camera that I got for him a few years ago, or the photo book he made for me of a trip we took to Germany (aka my favourite place to go), but in general we have stuck to the plan pretty well.

This is my baby's second Christmas (hard to believe - although last year he was just 4 weeks old, and all mama wanted from Santa was 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and a pinch of her sanity back) and even though he won't have any memories for a few more years, I find myself thinking about what kind of traditions I want for my own family. They will be different than my own, as we have lots of family around, and no plans of moving, and I'm excited for my kids to grow up with their cousins. I love putting up the tree and listening to Harry Connick Jr. (but not his most recent holiday album), and Christmas lights outside (even if we just left them up from last year...). I definitely would like to keep the story of the first Christmas, and I think a few gifts for the kids to open will make their way under my tree. Food will also play a part, seeing how I love it so. Luckily I don't really have to come up with any big decisions probably for another year or two, but I'm excited to start making our very own Christmas traditions and memories with our little family!

A journey of a thousand miles...

I admit it. I'm a procrastinator. I'm actually legitimately busy a lot of the time, which makes it very easy for me to make satisfactory excuses to myself about the procrastinating, but the bottom line is that even if I won the lottery and didn't have to work, cook, clean or brush my own teeth, I probably still would not get certain things done. I think this is pretty much true of most people - you do what you want to do, and think of as many reasons as possible to avoid that stuff you just can't get excited about. For example, in three weeks, it will be my sixth wedding anniversary (?!?!?!) and my wedding scrapbook has exactly one double page spread, which I did not even make. It is not that I am not excited to HAVE a scrapbook - I would love to have it! It's just that I can't seem to get myself motivated to MAKE the scrapbook. Weirldy, it isn't that I hate doing it, I just don't love doing it the same way I love reading a book, laying around doing nothing, thinking etc.

So about 2 years ago when I came across digital photobooks, I thought that I had been saved from a life of shame devoid of demonstrable memories due to my inability to scrapbook. In the initial excitement, I did get about 5 of my own books done for various trips, but life got busier and it got harder and harder to keep up, and when the newness of it all wore off, it turns out digital photobooks share a lot of traits with actual scrapbooks, and there are a lot of the same, valid reasons for not doing them...

So we come to my subject today. I am not literally going anywhere (well, not until I go the Olympics in February and a cruise/Disneyland in March - YAY!! !@*(&@ more photobooks/scrapbooks to feel guilty about not doing!), but I am really trying to focus on getting key things done in a timely manner, by focusing on the small managable aspects. That ship has clearly sailed when it comes to my wedding, but my baby just turned one, and I think I'm ready to turn over a new leaf! So yesterday I started the Year One photobook project.

Holy crap did we take a lot of pictures of this kid!!! The box of photos and negatives from my wedding (I know, I think we were the last EVER real film shoot) are starting to look awefully appealing. I got through about the first month (about 10 pages...!!) and then the roadblocks began. Between two computers and 3 portable hard drives, I am starting to feel a little overwhelmed by the task of narrowing the book down to "only" 100 pages. My boy, if you're lucky I will have your book done by the time it's your turn to get married!

Amazing space age products from China!

The other night I went with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law to a "Ladies' Night" at a community hall in Edmonton - no, we don't have some kind of weird relationship where we hang out at the man-strippers as a family, it was a sort of trade show with reps from pretty much every home sales company that you can imagine. I thought it would be a good chance to get some Christmas gift ideas, and it was - I didn't buy anything, but I was interested in some of the kids stuff and picked up some business cards. All the big names were there - Mary Kay, Tupperware, Pampered Chef, NorWex, Discovery Toys, Anion Feminine Products, and many more.

Wait a minute, you are asking, did I say Anion Feminine Products? Well, now that you mention it, yes I did, but let me get back to that. So, after a leisurely browse through the booths and one small purchase, the three of us decided to call it a night, so we left our door prize tickets with a friend of my sister-in-law and went home. After we had dropped my mother-in-law off at home, my sister-in-law received a call from her husband saying that someone had called the home phone to say that my mother-in-law's ticket had been drawn for a Mary Kay door prize - nice!

So we continued on our merry way, and after we got to my sister-in-law's house, we were surprised to get a second telephone call from her friend, and this time the lucky winner was ME! I was pretty interested to hear what I had won - free makeup? Jewelery? Crazy chemical free cleaning cloths? Toys? Storage solutions? Muffin mix? Nope, much better! ... I won a basket containing 3 packages of Anion feminine products.

I opened the package and was immediately suspicious due to the Engrish on the lable, along side the Made in China.Not being one to make a decision before doing my research, I decided to do a little googling and came up with a website for "Love Moon Anion Sanitary Napkins" (http://sanitarynapkin.110mb.com/).

On their site, I was enlightened by many interesting facts including: "As much as 107 bacteria can grow and multiply on 1 mm sq. surface of common sanitary napkin" and "Compliance with national hygiene standards (China) and prevention of infection ‘Keeping dry, air permeability and cleanliness’ are three main principles of genital care. Production of healthcare sanitary products must strictly comply with the GB15979-2002 hygiene standard." And than there's this interesting note in the "Anion & Health" section: "Negative ions (Anion) will move up to the womb through the vagina, improving blood circulation. Thus, the silt and blood clot stored long in the vagina can be discharged more smoothly. The womb can be repaired and improvements can be expected in 3-5 days. Then, inflammation disappears and no smell is left." And there is more - much, much more! There is even a collection of videos, including a You Tube photo montage where it appears that a baby's bacterial skin infection is cured by covering his skin in Anion panty liners!

To Chinese techno-health product companies: please consider this my official offer to provide editting services for your websites (at a cost). Your product appears to pretty much sell itself, but with a few editorial adjustments I think we can convince any remaining skeptics.

Goodbye Fooddownunder.com...you will be missed

A few years ago, my brother introduced me to a food website called fooddownunder.com. It wasn't fancy - there were no pictures or ads, and it wasn't endorsed by any celebrities, but it was a great resource. Whether you wanted to cook an authentic Indian meal, find a new twist on home made hamburgers, or just felt like browsing random recipes in search of dinner time inspiration, fooddownunder.com was the place to go. But alas, fooddownunder.com's glorious and extensive collection of recipes is no longer to be found - it appears that the URL expired and has been snapped up by some money grubbing meany and filled with useless sponsored links.

In honour of this sad occasion, here are a few words from my brother which really evoke the meaning that fooddownunder.com had for our family, and probably for countless others:

This morning I was chatting with my sister about what to cook for my date this evening and I decided to make Korean short ribs as one of the two meat dishes. When I make Korean short ribs I refer to a special recipe that I found online, and follow without fault. It is not often that you find a recipe that you like so much that you will go through great lengths to insure that the ingredients are portioned exactly as directed by the recipe. The recipe that I use won $15000 USD in a competition in Korea. The cook took the liberty to share it with the world through Fooddownunder.com. In preparation for the evening of cooking I sat down in front of my computer to make a grocery list. When I went to load the recipe I was redirected to another site. Fooddownunder.com is no longer. Fooddownunder was a unique community. It was a collaboration of over 100000 recipes shared by people who all had something in common; an understanding of the gift of food. Not every recipe was perfect, but each person who took the time to post their recipes was trying, and giving. If I had ever cooked for you, take a moment in silence this afternoon and pay tribute Fooddownunder.com. I didn't just use Fooddownunder to find a variety of recipes to create my own unique dishes, I used it as my personal "recipe box". I used bookmarks in my browser in the same way that people use cue cards to collect recipes. Fooddownunder has been there without fail to help assemble recipes for countless nights of cooking and sharing with family and friends. It proved to be an unlimited source of inspiration since I discovered it nearly six years ago. If you attended Naivasha and Hannes' wedding, each dish that was served had at least one ingredient that was recommended in a recipe from the site. It was more than just a website, it was part of me.

Happy One Year Anniversary of my Baby Due Date

Today is exactly one year since I was "due" with my baby boy (who I did not yet know was a baby boy). I remember the anxious excited feelings, the nervousness, being unable to eat/sleep/pee properly, sore ribs, nursery ready to go, bag packed, long brisk walks with a fleece jacked barely stretching all the way over my enormous belly, trying EVERYTHING to bring the baby faster, feeling like pregnancy would never end. After my two LONG hospital visits October 31 (due to what turned out to be a UTI) and November 1 (due to the car accident), I was ready to meet the little person inside of me and to be able to lay down without having my organs crushed. Eight days after my due date, on November 25, I was admitted to be induced, and about 10.5 hours later, just 7 minutes after midnight on November 26, my perfect little baby arrived. So happy due day to me - I hope that next time you're not just another meaningless day of waiting.

Things no one tells you, or that you don't believe before you have a baby

I think I did a pretty good job of preparing myself for pregnancy/childbirth/parenthood. I read The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, a good portion of The Pregnancy Bible, a GREAT development book called "What's Going on in There?", attended a birthing class at the hospital, spent weeks on Google, and asked every person I knew with kids millions of questions. So how then, did these important facts of childbirth and parenthood evade me? Your guess is as good as mine (and my guess is it's all a conspiracy).

1) Anyone who has taken grade 10 biology, watched the Discovery channel, or even just thought about it for 2 minutes knows that birth is not pretty, and it is obviously painful (less painful with drugs, thank you epidural!!). But what no one prepares you for is the horrible horrible pain AFTER the drugs wear off, and the copious and terrible amount of blood that you lose in the weeks that follow birth. Seriously, I know this is gross to talk about, which is why probably no one does talk about it, but mamas-to-be have a right to know!! Luckily the shock and sleeplessness resulting from having to take a real live helpless baby home apparently cause this and other traumatic parts of the experience (pretty much labour through the first 8 weeks) to become a fuzzy blur, resulting in many families with more than one child.

2) Your kid's poo and pee actually aren't that gross after a little while. Don't get me wrong, I will take every chance I get not to change a diaper, but seriously, after the first couple times that your own baby poops so much that it goes all the way up the back of the sleeper and into their hair, the shock and disgust fade. You may even find yourself laughing hysterically when he pees everywhere, including in his own ear, and than fires a big wet poop across the change table all over your hand. Childless people may be shaking their heads in disgust, but anyone with a baby has had this experience. And if you didn't laugh, seriously, you should lighten up. However, when someone else's kid does this to you - still disgusting.

3) You actually have parenting instincts. This is not to say that you should just play everything by ear when it comes to your kids - I'm very much into the research side of parenting - without it how would I know that if you feed a baby under four months spinach that hasn't been cooked the right way they could get nitrate poisoning (blue baby syndrome)? But as overwhelming as being the 24 - 7 personal butler for a fragile little human may be, it actually comes surprisingly naturally!

4) Time flies. Now I know that you don't need to have a kid to understand this one, but something about watching day by day how that helpless tiny baby (as much as they didn't FEEL tiny coming out) 11 months later progresses to standing on top of the subwoofer in your living room all by himself that just makes you feel how fast the days really pass.

5) You may enjoy raising your child more than you thought you would. Before I had my baby I pretty much was all for the idea of popping out a couple kids, hiring a nanny to deal with the boring/messy/bratty baby and little kid stages, and getting on with my career. But as we approach one year and I see my little baby growing up, I can barely stand the thought of leaving him with someone else during critical developmental periods. Don't get me wrong, I still pretty much feel the exact same way about other peoples' stinky, illogical little brats, but somewhere along the lines my brain got hijacked by mom hormones and I feel a strong tug to raise my spawn myself. Totally unexpected.

6) Having a pet is NOT anywhere close to having a kid. I have a puppy who I love very much and before I had a baby, he did a pretty good job of fulfilling my need to nurture. But once you have a baby, you realize that the responsibility of raising a human child with such HUGE potential for success or failure is so gigantic, serious, and important that any relationship with an animal, no matter how loving, just cannot compare. In one overused word that I swear never to use again on this blog - it is epic.

7) You will actually love your kid more than anything in the world. We've all seen those little brats at family functions, the mall, the playground or mom's group who are so intolerable that you think if you were their parent you would die. But if they were your kid, despite all their intolerable brattiness, unless you had some kind of mental breakdown, you probably would love them unconditionally. I can't explain this one - it's just true.

Vaccines Part II

Today the H1N1 flu vaccine is available to all Albertans over the age of 6 months. I am not sure what to do. It all comes down to the risks - if my son gets the vaccine and something terrible happens, it will be a direct result of my actions, probably leading to unspeakable guilt. But if I don't get him the vaccine, and something terrible happens, somehow would I be any less responsible for the results? My brain says no but my irrational emotional self says yes.

Somehow, if he gets sick from H1N1, I feel like it's due to chance - simple statistics, but if he get sick from the vaccine, I would feel responsible. Two bad possible outcomes, but differant feelings. I think that somehow I feel like I could reduce or mitigate the risks associated with not getting the vaccine - I can keep him home, use hand sanitizer, wear a mask - and if he gets sick after all that, I have done what I could and the responsibility is off of me. But with the vaccine, I am helpless to influence whether an ill effect arises - in effect I'm rolling the dice and just waiting for the result. There is not a thing I can do to change whether an adverse reaction occurs, and somehow if something does happen, ultimately I chose to accept that risk, and must bear the consquences.

I think I am going to get him vaccinated, but the above struggle will never cease in my mind when it comes to vaccines, no matter how much I read or think or feel. This situation is taken to the extreme with parents who avoid all vaccines for their children, and I think it's easy for someone looking from the outside into such a situation to chastise that parent and dismiss their fears as emotional and irrational, but until you hold a little life in your arms and actually have to choose between the risks, I don't think one can fully understand the weight of such a decision. I think the only thing that we can do, is try to change the way that we think about the risks and work with people to make an educated decision.

Yummy Baby Food

One of the things that I really wanted to do when Luke started eating solid foods was to make my own baby food, and aside from iron fortified cereals, I have stuck with it! It's really not as hard as one might think - usually I will make a large batch and than freeze at least 3 or 4 meals worth in ice cube trays for use later. As he's gotten older I've adapted a lot of the regular foods we eat to be more baby friendly (less salt mostly), or I will cook a slightly different version of in a separate pan alongside our meal. Below are a few of the simple recipes that I use. For everything else, there's Slap Chop!

Mashed Sweet Potato

1 medium sweet potato
1 tbsp unsalted butter
1 tbsp sour cream
dash of nutmeg, mild curry powder or cinnamon

Peal & chop potato. Steam or boil until tender, drain. In a bowl, mash or puree sweet potato. Stir in butter, sour cream & choice of spices. Variations: include peas, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower etc. with sweet potatoes when steaming/boiling. You may also mix in some finely diced cheese or cooked meat.

Favourite Apple Sauce

1 Apple pealed, cored & finely chopped
1 tbsp unsalted butter
2 tbsp brown sugar
2 tbsp raisins, chopped
dash of cinnamon
water - a few tablespoons

Melt butter over medium heat. Add all ingredients except water and fry for 1 - 2 minutes, until apples well coated. Add a little bit of water, stir well and cover. Stir occasionally, adding a little water if pan gets too dry. Cook until the apples are very soft and liquid is reduced (about 7 minutes). Cool slightly before serving - puree or mash if necessary. Delicious by itself or mixed with oatmeal.

Oatmeal with Fruit

1/2 cup whole milk
3 tbsp quick oats

Mix milk and oats in a small pot over medium high heat. Stir often until mixture comes to a boil. Reduce heat to medium low, and stirring occasionally, simmer until thick (about 3 minutes).

With Banana:
Add oatmeal to a mashed banana, mix & serve

With Blueberries:
Add 1/2 cup fresh or frozen blueberries at the beginning of cooking. Instead of 3 tbsp oats, use 4 tbsp (due to extra moisture in the berries). Make sure berries are cooled before serving.

With Peaches:
Score a peach (mark and X on the bottom with a sharp knife). Drop in a pot of boiling water for 1 minute. Remove peach from hot water, peal and dice (remove pit). Add peach to oatmeal about halfway through cooking. Allow to cool before serving.

Mind Dump

In the past almost three weeks, I have sat down numerous times in an attempt to craft an interesting and witty blog entry, but I have either become distracted by the adventures/misadventures of the 10 month old who has taken over my house, or I have had to work, or do stuff for basement renovations (ALMOST DONE!!!) or I have simply not had the mental energy to get something meaningful in writing. So here we go again and I'm determined that this time a post will result! My advance apologies for the random and possibly uninteresting content...hopefully after this mind dump, my inspiration returns.

1) George Bush came to Edmonton yesterday. There were clips on TV of people protesting and calling him a terrorist and a war monger and I had to wonder how much these people have actually educated themselves on the factual events of the past 9 years. Personally, I don't know enough about Bush outside of what the media has told me to really pass judgment on his presidency, however, not living under a rock, I can appreciate that he was stuck in an impossible situation in terms of the options available to him on that fateful day in September of 2001, and that most likely no matter what he had done, his decision would have been unpopular at some point. So to the protesters - maybe if you spent some time presenting specific and factual information about the issues from a rational perspective instead of yelling twisted rhetoric, people would care what you have to say!

2) I read a book about the prevalence of porn in our culture these days and the effect it is having on relationships, individuals and families. Extremely interesting - definitely a read I would recommend (Pornified by Pamela Paul). Reader beware for graphic and more than slightly disturbing content at times.

3) I like to think of myself as a better than average cook (another book recommendation here: Why We Make Mistakes by Joseph Hallinan) and I made a casserole last night. With my new found knowledge of the often faulty human tendency to think of one's self as above average, I can't say that I could impartially declare it a success, but it was a Mexican sweet potato casserole with homemade enchilada sauce and I thought it was pretty good. I bought WAY too many sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving and have been trying to incorporate them into our meals (when I am motivated enough to cook...) so that they don't rot on my pantry floor and ruin the hardwood. Tonight...sweet potato lasagna anyone?

4) I am fascinated with anything to do with the brain, and have learned some super interesting stuff lately. Some random and interesting facts: a) if you are happy and you like your food, you absorb more nutrients from it. b) Pain is very subjective, so if you take 100 people and apply the same injury or stimulus, there will be a WIDE range of sensitivities as evidenced by brain scans. Take that, inflexible natural birth advocates. c) We are more prejudiced than we think we are and our brains give it away.

5) People like to talk about themselves (count how mant times the word "I" appears in the preceding 4 points). Here's hoping that at least one of the 4 parts of my mini ego trip was interesting to someone!

Full of cliches

We've all got a couple of "those" friends. You open up your Facebook, looking for something exciting or interesting going on in your friends' lives, and instead you get: "Jane Smith (name changed to protect feelings) is learning if u dont love u wont be hurt but u will never truley live". Seriously Jane? That's it? That's how you're feeling right now? Why not just permanently change your status to "Jane Smith hasn't had an original thought in years, and gets all her opinions from Entertainment Tonight and US Weekly"? Now, anyone who is my friend on Facebook is probably rolling their eyes by now. Typical examples of my status include: "mmm (insert food type here)" or "is busy" (I know, thanks, that was worth wasting 6 minutes of company time to find out), or best of all: "thinks her baby is the most wonderful and original baby EVER and wants to tell you about all the boring little details that apparently seem amazing to her sleep deprived and hormone addled brain!" And matching photos, great (as you prepare to stab yourself).

If you're nodding seriously in agreement right now, maybe we shouldn't be friends. NO NO I'm kidding, please don't un-friend me. It will mean days of obsessing and pouring over my list trying to figure out who you are so I can hate you back, and I will probably cry when I see you in the grocery store (you probably won't recognize me anyway since we haven't talked since that awkward encounter on the bus 8 years ago, but I saw the drunken pictures of you that your friend tagged you in last week), or when I see a witty comment you leave on some mutual friend's wall, because their status is SOOO interesting. I'll do better, I promise! I'll poke you and send you virtual gifts, list you as my smartest friend in that note and invite you to be my farm neighbour!

I don't even remember what I wanted to write about, but seriously, let's get lives people! The cliches aren't ridiculous because they're not true, they're ridiculous because if you are sitting writing them on Facebook 20 times a day, you probably are spending a little less time with the people who matter most, and having fewer new and exciting "moments of truth". I know, we all have Facebook to keep in touch with those people that live faraway that we never get to see, but really, let's try and see and/or talk to as many of our friends and family in "real life" as we can, and get on Skype or spring the buck for that occasional long distance call, because the memory of one friend's real live laughter is a greater treasure than all the LOLs we will ever have.

I love animals as much as the next person, but seriously folks

What's big in the news in Edmonton these days? The visit of celebrity former Price Is Right host Bob Barker! That's right, come on down...to protest the conditions the humble "Valley Zoo" offers for an ailing elephant? Representatives of the Valley Zoo, which has housed Lucy the Asian Elephant for 32 years, say that she is fine where she is, and that the stress of traveling to an elephant sanctuary in California poses a risk to her life due to a respiratory condition. Opponents say that the zoo does not offer a suitable habitat, and that she should be with other elephants in a more tolerable climate. The move would not cost the zoo anything - the approximately $200,000 bill for transportation and other costs would be covered by the sanctuary and other animal rights groups.

TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS to move ONE elephant so that she may live out her life in peace. Now I believe that as humans, we should respect and cherish animals, and treat them humanely as much as possible. But when I hear about animal rights groups who are willing to spend that kind of dough to move someone else's elephant without batting an eyelash, I get a little bit angry. The economy sucks, both Canada & the US are facing serious issues when it comes to healthcare, housing and employment, and these people think the best use of their money is moving an elephant?

What about people living in terrible conditions? Are there any celebrities coming up from the US with big money to protest the less than humane conditions that homeless humans endure in our harsh Canadian winters? I have a dog and I love him very much, but I have to say, I would not hesitate to throw him under a bus to save my child, someone else's child, or even my worst enemy. In my opinion, human life has infinitely higher value than the life of any animal.

Am I saying that I don't think that there is any value in putting money towards causes dedicating to the humane treatment of animals, or to the preservation of endangered species or natural habitats? No. What I am saying is that we have to use our uniquely human skill of logic to decide what is a reasonable allocation of resources when it comes to a desired outcome, and my mind is saying this doesn't add up. $200,000 for (best case) 30 years of peace for an elephant (who her current keepers say is fine where she is), with the chance that she could actually die in transit (worst case). Even if your main concern is animal rights and you're not all that concerned about alleviating human suffering in the world this seems like a risky bet. How many pets could $200,000 spade or neuter, therefore causing fewer unwanted puppies and kittens, and thus freeing up space in animal shelters? Wouldn't this be a better use of resources than moving one elephant?

I guess the faulty assumption on my part is that the animal rights movement as a whole is logical or based on reason. This is not to say that individuals who contribute to or work in areas that are dedicated to animals are all unreasonable or illogical, there are many worthy causes relating to the rescue and humane treatment of animals. But in general I would say that there is a lot of misinformation and emotion based tactics that are used to fuel the cause, and that legitimately worthwhile endeavours in this area are cheapened by the radicals. I won't get started on PETA in this post, but if you Google "pen and teller PETA", you will get an idea of where my feeling lie.

Things that will probably kill me before vaccines

1. NOT heart disease - I would like to say that despite suspicions raised by my brother Matt about my stress level, I actually have the blood pressure of an elite athlete - it's one of those weird phenomenon, like the lady who smokes a pack a day until she's 114 or that one 600 lb guy who doesn't have diabetes.

2. Something that I probably should have gotten vaccinated for.

3. Road rage. I read a book that talked about how we are bolder in cars and on the phone because we basically de-humanize people when we don't have to look at them when we're being rude. Guilty as charged. Despite a terrifying run in with a road raging maniac when I was 17 thanks to rude gestures made by my younger brothers, it doesn't take much for a rude or careless driver to get my heart racing and my horn honking. For my son's sake, I am working to overcome this before I tick off the wrong guy and it's headlights out for good.

4. The stove. I don't have OCD, but like most normal people (I think?) I do have the occasional fit of anxiety wondering about whether my house is going to burn down because I left the stove on, and I always knew that somehow my worrying was not in vain. Finally, I was right! I was watching the news the other day and there was a story about stoves that TURNED ON BY THEMSELVES, making their owners think they were crazy until after a couple of incidents, there was a recall. So a message to my stove: I am watching you.

5. Clothes. A closet the size of a small bedroom + 10 foot ceilings + a hatred of folding laundry = lethal mountains of garments and other random stuff. They'll never find my body and everyone will think my husband did it.

6. Spicy food. I'm not talking Tabasco sauce, dried chili flakes or the "hot" wings at your local bar. The fever inducing death sauce I'm working on is about 1/2 as potent as pepper spray, and every hit leaves me craving more liquid pain and the endorphins it pumps through my veins. If this is the way I go, it will be a slow and painful death, but I will die happy.

A few things I didn't know about vaccines

Recently a friend sent me an anti-vaccination pamphlet to consider. My first thought was "what a load of garbage - people who don't get their kids vaccinated are a menace to society", but remembering back to my last post about taking time to consider both sides of an issue before passing judgment, I took some time to do a little research on the subject, and was surprised at my findings.

One of the outrageous sounding claims on the pamphlet was that vaccines contain "human cells from aborted fetal tissue". Now, regardless of your stance on abortion, I have to think that the idea of aborting babies to make vaccines, or even using already aborted dead babies to make vaccines would make most people uncomfortable. One wouldn't make a claim that is so obviously controversial without having some kind of backup, and sure enough, my research (ok, my Googling) provided some interesting details. The vast majority of vaccines, and pretty much all of the ones that are on my baby's vaccination schedule do indeed contain "human diploid cells". In order to cultivate a virus for use in a vaccine, it has to have host cells, and the cells that are used in most vaccines in the US (and therefore Canada) can be traced back to three aborted fetuses from the 1960s. Cells were removed from the deceased infants (which were not aborted for scientific purposes), and have been cultured (grown) in labs and used for various medical and research purposes ever since. Now, I don't know about everyone else, but it is unsettling to me that this is something that is not common knowledge.

This was probably the most shocking of the items on the list. There were several more recognizable ingredients (a mercury derivative and formaldehyde for example), and a lot of menacing and inedible sounding ingredients. I looked around at the details for these, but the reality is, children are exposed to varying levels toxins in their environment every day through vehicle exhaust, second & third hand smoke, building materials, and possibly, food. There is strong anecdotal evidence that points to devastating and even deadly reactions in some individuals, but mortality rates from preventable diseases in countries with strong immunization rates provide convincing evidence that the benefits outweigh the risks posed by injections of small amounts of potentially toxic stabilizers and preservatives.

My biggest concern arising from this mini-research project was that as parents, we are really making the decision to vaccinate our children quite blindly. It is one thing to make an educated decision based on a solid grasp of individual and societal benefits and risks, but it is quite another to simply show up, read the limited materials provided, authorize injections of heaven knows what into our precious babies, and make the next appointment (exactly what I did for the first three immunization appointments for my son).

Am I saying that I am not going to continue with scheduled vaccinations? No (although this no is a lot more shaky than it would have previously been). I still believe (based on my somewhat limited knowledge) that on a societal level, the mass benefits of reduction and elimination of dangerous diseases outweighs the risks to the individual, however, I do feel that this topic warrants more research, and that my opinion on this topic is not nearly as black and white as it was before.

An exceptionlly long excuse as to why I don't blog more

I had high hopes for my blog. I envisioned myself writing witty and interesting things every day, and earning scads of loyal followers, publishing a book, my own talk show! But here I am, nearly 2 months later (I think, I don't even remember when I started this thing...) and I am only on my third post. The problem is not that I don't have things to say, it's that I have TOO much to say (how cliche, I know). But seriously, anyone who has met me for long enough to get past the pleasantries knows that I have an opinion on literally EVERYTHING. So why no posts you ask? Why no insane rants on every imaginable topic? The fear of being exposed for the prejudiced, opinionated jerk that I am inside has frozen me every time I have sat down with what I felt was a good blog topic. Without the warm and forgiving cloak of anonymity, I feel exposed, the imaginary wind of public judgment whipping at my soft underbelly. My fingers seize up on home row as I imagine my words coming back to haunt me just as I am about to receive the Nobel Peace Prize or take the oath of office (I don't know which one yet).

So my topic for today I guess would be, am I embarrassed about what I actually think, is what I think wrong, or is it just my Canadian politeness getting in the way of my success as a blogger? If we hold opinions that we don't want to share just because we don't want to rock the boat, maybe it's time to really evaluate those topics, and figure out if our stance is really a stance worth taking, or if we are simply echoing something that we heard or read once because it sounded good at the time.

In taking a closer look at my own views, I have reached the conclusion that perhaps it is not that my more controversial opinions are wrong, but that in general people don't like to be confronted with uncomfortable discussions, especially when it is something that relates to a choice they have made or a view that they strongly subscribe to. Our culture tells us that we are to be tolerant and that everyone has a right to their own opinion (which I totally agree with), but the reality is, when this is taken to a certain level, it becomes just a convenient way of avoiding confrontation that discourages discourse and does not really encourage people to think through their decisions and purported views (aka echos). Taken to the extreme, it weakens the ideas of right and wrong which are the core of the social contract that keeps our society from plunging into anarchy.

So what is the solution, I ask myself? Do I sit quiet with my opinions so that friends, relatives and strangers don't feel challenged or perhaps judged? Or do I blurt out what I think with no regard to the many sides of an issue? Or do I temper my opinions in a "you're ok, I'm ok, we're ok" kind of wishy-washy way? Is there an option that is going to please everyone, a way in which I can provoke safe dialogue on important issues without people I care about thinking less of me? And the sad answer is probably no. As humans, we don't like to be wrong. It elicits a whole range of uncomfortable emotions - embarassment, shame, and fear, and our gut reation is to try to avoid discomfort, so we generally avoid confronting issues that make us feel this way, or we respond in a way (usually anger) that helps us to cover those feelings of discomfort.

So in conclusion, I think I will blog, and I will probably say some things that make some people (or most people, or all people) uncomfortable or even angry, but please if you plan on reading my blog take what I have said above into consideration. I am not trying to exert myself or my morals or thoughts on others, I am simply putting thoughts out there in the hope that discourse will arise, and that through intellectual challenge, growth may occur.

Welcome Graduates!

In general to all new graduates from post secondary institutions, but specifically for those of you who graduated with a profession, say nursing, or teaching:

Welcome to the real world! Just because you went to school to train for a job does not mean that there will or should be a spot ready for you when you are done! Please do your best to resist the urge to whine and blame it on the government. Think about it: if you took a four year degree in philosophy, would you expect the government to hire you as a philosopher? What about business or science? Of course not! Why should your degree guarantee you a job any more than the rest of us?

I appreciate that the jobs done by teachers and nurses are ones that I could never do - they are demanding, time consuming and require one to put up with a lot of nonsense from ungrateful people, but that is why I did not choose those careers! I personally know a large number of highly intelligent university graduates who are working in jobs completely unrelated to their field of study, and who do not blame the government or anyone but themselves for this fact.

So to all of you: good luck with your job hunts, I am sure that something will come up sometime, and that until then you will survive. The wait will be worth it when you finally get one of those sweet union deals that makes it almost impossible to fire you, regardless of how good you actually are at the job!

I finally have a "blog"

That's right folks, it's the moment you have all been waiting for! I have graduated from the ranks of letter-to-the-editor complainers to a world wide web complainer! No more wasting my rants on other drivers and unappreciative telemarketers! ...ok, that's probably a stretch - I will probably rant at them too... Seriously though, I will try not to complain all the time. I will probably also not be able to resist bragging endlessly about the AMAZING development of my son (as though no child has learned to crawl before!!), and occasionally I will try to inject some serious thinking (but I'll try not to be too boring). Check back often for new posts!